Bimbo Baggins (cherie_morte) wrote in infatuated_ink,
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Real Person Fic - CW: Jared and the Package Deal

Title: Jared and the Package Deal
Fandom: Real Person Fic – CW
Characters/Pairings: Jared/Jensen/Danneel
Rating: NC-17 for explicit sexual content (including pegging), language, and using fairytales in threesome porn solely for the purpose of ruining your childhood. ETA: There are open relationships and friends-with-benefits arrangements in this fic. Apparently you have to warn for that kind of thing or special snowflakes will get their feelings hurt.
Word Count: 6,290
Author’s Note: Written for waterofthemoon as the first of four charity fics for thepurpledove because Chat decided to go communal on my ass. Sara prompted me with: “Jared/Jensen/Danneel: Fairytales” and will now spend the rest of her life regretting it. I am taking a class about Fairytales right now and the first day I read a story called The Foundling from which I shamelessly stole the ending to this fic, because it was brilliant. Thanks to mistyzeo for the beta!
Summary: College AU: Jared enjoyed the casual relationship he had going with Jensen just fine, but he couldn’t help wanting more. And then Danneel showed up, just to make things a little more complicated.

ETA:: This fic can now be downloaded as a podfic thanks to chemm80!

Once upon a Friday night, in a frat house somewhere between University and E Street, Jared was just the right amount of drunk.

That was the first time he saw Jensen.

Perhaps you have read stories in which one person sees another from across a crowded room. Their eyes meet. Their worlds freeze. They approach each other slowly, kiss chastely, overcome some serious challenge to their lives and love, and are married within three days. They live happily ever after. This could have, in another time and place, been Jared and Jensen’s story.

Just then, Jared was only thinking about getting laid, and love at first sight, if such a phenomenon exists, did not drive him from one end of the room to the other as much as the thought of the stranger’s thick red lips swollen from kissing.

Jensen was leaning against the opposite wall, looking into his beer, waiting for his prince to come (all puns intended).

“You come here often?” Jared asked.

“Really?” Jensen replied, not even looking up. “Do people still use that line? Please leave me alone.”

Jared was a stubborn youth, however, and when he found something he wanted—wanted very much now that he was close enough to see the other man’s freckled cheeks—he rarely accepted defeat, no matter how blatant.

“It’s more of a conversation starter than a pick-up line,” Jared explained. “You are talking to me, right?”

“Not for long,” Jensen said, placing his bright red Solo cup on the table by his elbow and making as if to walk away.

Jensen stopped in his tracks when he finally lifted his eyes to Jared’s. He paused, then moved back into his former position, leaning against the wall with an inviting smile that made Jared’s body heat up against his will.

“You were brushing me off,” Jared reminded him.

Jensen blinked a few times and nodded. “Yes, I was.”

“And now you are?”

“Changing my mind,” Jensen said, holding a hand out. “Jensen.”

“Jared,” Jared replied. “I should probably give you the cold shoulder. Teach you a lesson about treating others the way you want to be treated.”

“I suppose you could do that.” Jensen lifted an eyebrow.

Jared placed one hand against the wall just behind Jensen’s head and leaned in. “So, Jensen. Tell me about yourself.”

“I hate this part,” Jensen said.

“Huh?”

Jensen moved Jared’s arm back to his side, smiling sweetly. “This is the part where you tell me about your major, all the classes you’re taking in a field that doesn’t interest me with professors I’ve never heard of. Next, I’ll tell you about my dog and you’ll pretend to care and we’ll waste at least two hours standing here talking, getting progressively drunker, until finally the minimum amount of small talk has been exchanged for it to be socially acceptable for us to get the hell on with the show. But by then we’ll both be, what, nine beers in and too stupid for the sex to really be any good. Any of this sounding familiar?”

“When you put it like tha—”

“So how about this: there’s a room upstairs that belongs to a friend of mine. He’s not here tonight and doesn’t mind me using it, and we won’t be interrupted. I want to fuck you. Are you interested, or am I wasting my time?”

Jared took too long to formulate a response, so Jensen just shook his head with amusement, assumed Jared’s consent, and led the way.

Upstairs, about five minutes after their brief introduction, Jensen sat at the edge of someone else’s mattress and pulled Jared closer by his belt loops. “It’s been a while since I’ve been with a guy,” he said, licking his lips and looking up at Jared. “I’d really like to bottom.”

Jared might have called it too soon on not being in love.



After he’d stumbled home—the sun already halfway up, Jared walking down the street with all the other one-night stands—he’d rolled into bed and finally gotten the sleep Jensen had kept him from literally all night.

Life went on, of course, and Jared rarely thought of Jensen. Jensen hadn’t been the most pleasant person he’d ever met and had gotten out of bed and started slipping his jeans on as soon as he finally decided they’d had enough. He left without giving Jared a number or a last name—in other words, he did everything within his power to make it perfectly clear that he wanted nothing more from Jared.

And Jared was an adult. He could accept that. It wasn’t his first rodeo. But it was the best sex he’d ever had in his life, and that was not the kind of thing Jared could forget easily.

So a few weeks after their tryst, when he spotted Jensen in the dining hall, sitting on his own with a textbook open, he lingered on the sight for a few seconds too long. Jensen was twirling a fork in his meal idly, staring off into space like he would rather claw out his eyes than read another page.

Jared knew the feeling.

Without consulting his brain, his feet carried him to Jensen’s table, and he set his tray down on the opposite side. “Can I sit?”

“Can? Probably. May you sit? I’d rather you didn’t.”

“You’re charm really is inexhaustible.”

Jensen smirked just the slightest bit. “Yeah, alright, sit.”

Jared did, leaned over enough to see what Jensen was avoiding reading. “Didn’t take you for a romantic,” he said, indicating the anthology of poetry.

“I’m not,” Jensen answered, rubbing his eyes and closing the book sharply. “But I needed a humanities credit, signed up for a class I hate, and I’ve got a test on Thursday.”

“Bummer.”

“Indeed.” Jensen looked at Jared closely, his lips pursed. “Look, no offense or anything, but can I help you?”

“You mentioned a dog,” Jared said conversationally. “You said I wouldn’t care, but I actually do want to hear about your dog.”

Jensen laughed. “I think you missed the point of that speech.”

Jared grinned. “Oh, no, I caught it loud and clear. Just sex, no interest in talking, so on and so forth.”

“You gonna leave me to my reading, then?”

“I’m too nice for that.”

“I see.” Jensen leaned back a little in his chair, eyes still trained on Jared. “I hate nice guys.”

“I’ll grow on you,” Jared promised.

“Oh, I remember,” Jensen replied darkly.

Jared blushed. “You looked bored. Thought I could help with a study break or something. I can leave if I’m actually bothering you.”

“The sex was that good, huh?” Jensen asked playfully. “You may be surprised to learn that I haven’t exactly been trying to give off ‘come talk to me’ vibes.”

Jared frowned. He’d been pretty sure he hadn’t been the only one who’d enjoyed it. He stood to leave. “Right. That’s about all the rejection I can take for one day. Enjoy your Keats.”

Jensen reached forward and tugged Jared back. “Hey, I was kidding.”

“Not really, though,” said Jared. “And that’s fine. You’re absolutely right that I shouldn’t have talked to you, anyway. One night is one night.”

Jensen picked up the blue highlighter resting by his elbow and flipped the book open to a random page, scrawling something down and ripping the paper to hand it to Jared.

“Your number?”

“We don’t have to talk,” Jensen told him. “I’m serious. You don’t need to woo me. You could have just asked for it.”

“You’re not the best at socializing,” Jared said before he could stop himself.

Jensen shrugged. “My talents lay elsewhere. You can throw that out, if you want.”

They both knew Jared wasn’t going to.



They kept it up for a few weeks. They fucked pretty regularly, and they exchanged minimal conversation before and after. Jensen’s efforts to keep Jared at arm’s length never got any less unpleasant.

The trouble was that eventually Jared started to realize that Jensen didn’t really mean any of it, as convincing as he might have been at first. He started to spot the mirth in Jensen’s face when they were bickering their way into bed. He started to laugh at the way Jensen mocked him, mocked Jensen right back. The trouble was, Jared was starting to find Jensen’s bitchiness endearing.

Which Jared knew could only lead to trouble.



“You okay?” Jensen asked out of nowhere.

Jared felt his face contort in confusion and turned over to face him. “Huh?”

“I don’t know, you’ve seemed out of it. Quiet. It’s not like you.”

Jared bit his bottom lip. Jensen sounded like he gave a fuck, like he was actually concerned with Jared’s wellbeing. He crawled onto Jared and bent down to kiss him, hands pressing against his chest. “Anything I can distract you from?”

Jared laughed lightly and shook his head once Jensen pulled away. “I’m pretty sure I’m not ready to go again,” he said.

Jensen frowned, but it didn’t look like he was disappointed. It kind of looked like he was insulted, like he expected Jared to ask for something other than sex. “Right, yeah.”

“I’m hungry.” Jared sat up on his elbows, and Jensen moved away from him. “Just hungry is all. I should go.”

“I’m hungry, too. We should get a pizza.”

“You’re not kicking me out?” Jared asked stupidly.

“You don’t have to stay if—I definitely get it. Sorry. Wasn’t trying to—”

“I just hope the pizza guy gets here before we are ready to go again,” Jared interrupted. “Or he’s going to get quite an eyeful.”

Jensen growled and surged towards Jared, kissing him long and hard before getting around to calling for dinner.



Jared stood at Jensen’s door, knocking for half a minute before he decided to give up. Served him right for swinging by without calling, assuming Jensen would be there.

He was turning to walk back to his dorm when the door swung open. “Jared?”

“Jensen, hi.” Jared smiled and gave Jensen a small wave.

“What are you doing here—? Don’t answer that.”

Jared laughed. “Sorry, I was just stopping by in case you wanted to…make up for the time we lost over the weekend because of my test yesterday.”

Jensen brushed his fingers over his lips and looked back into his house before giving Jared a sorry look. “Believe me I would love it, but I kind of have guests over, and I’m pretty sure they don’t want to hear it.”

Jensen smiled mischievously, and Jared felt his skin heat up. “You are kind of loud.”

Jensen rolled his eyes. “It takes two, Jared.”

“I’ll call next time,” Jared promised. “Sorry to interrupt.”

Jensen must have jogged to catch up, because within a few seconds there was a hand circling Jared’s wrist. He turned to face him. “You don’t have to leave,” Jensen said.

“I don’t?”

“We’re just hanging out,” Jensen explained. “Me and a few of my buddies, playing the latest Madden. You don’t have to stay, either, but if you’re free, and you feel like it…”

Jared took him up on it.



“I like that Chris guy,” Jared said, kicking his feet up on Jensen’s coffee table, taking a long drink from his beer. He ventured a look over to Jensen, checking to make sure he wasn’t pissing him off. “You make really awesome faces when he kicks your ass.”

“If you like him so much, then why don’t you marry him?” Jensen replied.

Jared raised an eyebrow. “Wow.”

“Oh, come off it. You used the ‘come here often?’ line on me.”

“You can’t make me feel bad about that forever,” Jared said dramatically.

Jensen looked around his living room and sighed. “I love how everyone’s happy to come over and play my video games and drink my beer for four hours, but they all evaporate when shit needs to get cleaned.”

“I’ll help,” Jared offered, jumping to his feet.

“You really don’t have to.” Jensen tried to push Jared back down to the couch. “Seriously, man, I’m kind of tired and not in the mood, so you won’t even get anything out of it.”

Jared didn’t let himself frown. “I do think about things that aren’t getting laid, you know.”

“I don’t doubt it!” Jensen said automatically. “I just, look, you hung out today, and that was pretty cool. It was fun, and I don’t want you to feel like you have to earn your keep or something. We’re…we’re friends, right?”

“Sure,” Jared agreed easily. “And friends help each other clean up after parties.”

Jensen shook his head. Jared ignored it and began gathering empty bottles.



They tried that. Jared never put much stock in the friends-with-benefits arrangement; it was never something that appealed to him personally. Jared was at heart a relationship person, usually only indulged in one-night stands once or twice a semester, when times were tough. He’d set that aside for Jensen, of course, but it got messed up when they started hanging out—just them or in a group, and sometimes they fucked and sometimes they didn’t, but it was always a great time.

It wasn’t until a month of this had passed that Jared realized they were practically dating already. And he…kind of really liked that.

Jared knew making Jensen see things this way would not be easy. Jensen had his own issues. Jared had figured out a long time ago that what came off as a rotten attitude was really just a defense mechanism. Jensen was in love with someone, and whoever they were broke him to the point where he tried to completely section off sex and emotion.

Jensen didn’t talk about it; Jared had no right to ask. But Jared knew the signs. It was kind of a waste from where Jared was standing. Jensen pushed Jared away in favor of clinging to someone who had completely abandoned him. All Jared had to do was make Jensen see how much easier it would be to forget that loser and care about him, instead.

Fast, he thought. He had to convince Jensen fast, because Jared was all-too-rapidly falling head-over-heels in love.



There was no talking to the man.

No, really. Jensen had some kind of radar for it. Whenever Jared tried to settle down into a casual conversation, sneak something serious into it—Jensen always knew. Sometimes it felt like the moment the idea popped into Jared’s head, Jensen would be pressed against his side, lips playing with the shell of his ear, hands groping at his crotch, and Jared’s brain would instantly shut down. His mouth would fall open, but nothing even vaguely resembling real words came out.

It was a problem. It was a problem Jared enjoyed, a problem Jared kind of wanted to keep having to put up with forever. But he couldn’t ever say that, because Jensen was fucking impossible. Impossible not to fuck. Whatever, semantics.

Eventually, though. Eventually, Jared got there. It took five failed attempts, but one Saturday night, Jared brought popcorn and a movie over to Jensen’s. It was a lot like a date and Jensen didn’t protest—let his hand rest idly on Jared’s thigh throughout the entire two hours without ever stopping to realize it was intimate and comfortable and therefore extremely awkward if he was trying not to send boyfriend vibes.

Jared felt pretty safe bringing it up.

“Jensen?” he said into the silence. The movie had ended twenty minutes earlier, but they’d sat quietly through the credits until the score cut off and suddenly they were just sitting there in the dark and quiet.

“Yeah?” Jensen answered, rolling over to pull the cord on the lamp by his side of the couch.

“What is this?”

“A little vague, don’t you think?”

“This,” Jared replied, pointing to Jensen, then himself, making sure to put emphasis on the space between them.

Jensen smirked. “Why, Jared, if you wanted me to get closer, you should have said as much.”

He crawled up the couch until he was supporting himself over Jared, and Jared closed his eyes, waiting for the kiss, then remembered no, bad, that’s what you’re trying to avoid right now.

“Stop, stop, that’s not what I meant.”

“Well, whatever you meant can wait, right?” Jensen pressed close and whispered into Jared’s ear, “Wanna suck you.”

Jared groaned, felt himself beginning to swell, thrust up and pushed Jensen away. “I need to talk to you, man. It’s serious.”

Jensen frowned. “That’s what I was afraid of.”

It hit Jared like a punch to the gut, but he’d gone this far, and if he was getting turned down, he was at least getting his say first. “I think I’m falling for you.”

Jensen looked away. “Don’t say that to me, Jay.”

“No, you know what? I don’t think, I am. And I know this was supposed to be casual, and I know everyone always complains about the one person who gets attached and screws up the no-strings-attached relationships. But…I think you could fall for me, too.”

“Yeah, well, you’re wrong,” Jensen snapped, voice trembling. “It’s not like—”

“Jensen, look me in the eye and tell me you don’t feel anything for me.”

“I don’t,” he bit his lip, “want to have this conversation.”

Jared brushed the side of his face, moved in slowly, and kissed Jensen. It wasn’t just a kiss this time, it was soft and Jensen’s lips were pliant. Jared had kissed him a thousand times, had been kissing him for months. This wasn’t just another kiss.

Jared pulled away slowly, careful not to ruin the moment, and he felt Jensen’s breath shudder as it left him.

“I’m sorry,” Jensen said.

“Sorry?” Jared smiled. “Don’t be sorry.”

“No, I am.” Jensen leaned in and kissed him again, once quickly on the lips, trailing down his jaw as he kept saying he was sorry.

Sorry for what? Jared wanted to ask, but he didn’t get the chance. Jensen grabbed his coat and left.

No matter how many times Jared called him or knocked on his door, Jensen didn’t answer.



Jared gave Jensen his space over winter break. Went home, even forced himself through a few flings to convince himself he didn’t care.

But he missed Jensen. He missed his friend Jensen, who would call him over stupid thoughts that hit him while he was making breakfast or texted him pictures of inappropriate things in class just to try to get him in trouble. He didn’t need to date Jensen, would have said as much if Jensen had let him before having his giant, thus-far-unexplained freak out.

Besides, Jared knew Jensen felt something for him. That kiss didn’t lie.

A part of him got back to campus in January expecting that Jensen would be over himself, would try to get in touch with Jared. Things didn’t work out that way. Jared waited a week before caving, and there he was, standing on Jensen’s doorstep again, knocking and freezing and wishing someone would answer.

Someone did answer, but it wasn’t Jensen.

“Hi,” the girl said, looking up at Jared. She smiled warmly. “Can I help you?”

“I’m looking for Jensen,” Jared said awkwardly. “If he still lives here?”

The door opened a little wider, revealed a very thunderstruck Jensen standing a few feet behind her. Jared took a step forward on instinct. “Jensen?”

Jensen’s eyes flitted between Jared and whoever the girl was. He swallowed a lump. “Hey.”

She looked at Jared and Jared looked at her, and it was a very long, very uncomfortable minute before Jensen finally introduced them. “Danneel, this is Jared. Jared, this is Danneel.” He scratched the back of his neck. “My girlfriend.”

Jared’s mouth dropped open; Danneel smiled. “Jared! Finally. You were all Jensen talked about while I was abroad. I’ve heard so much about you, I feel like I already know you.”

That’s funny, Jared thought. I’ve never heard of you.

He almost said as much, almost spilled every awful thing he was thinking, but the words stuck in his throat when he saw how scared Jensen looked.

“I just remembered, I have to do…something,” Jared said stupidly. He turned and hightailed as fast as he could, heard Jensen calling out after him. This time, Jared was the one doing the ignoring.



The door closed loudly behind Jared.

“So that was Jared, huh?” Danneel asked.

Jensen frowned. “Yeah, that was him.”

“Damn,” she pouted, “your Friday night really was better than mine.”

Jensen laughed. “Told you.”

“Why’d he take off like that?”

“He didn’t know about…” Jensen scuffed the floor with his shoe. “I never got around to telling him I had a girlfriend.”

Danneel gave Jensen a questioning look.

“I tried to keep things casual. I don’t know, I thought the less he knew about my personal life the better.”

“Jensen, that was an awful idea. You know what he probably thinks right now, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” he said. “I was trying to keep my promise and then it had been months and I felt like if I told him at that point it would look like I tried to hide it, and I thought maybe if I didn’t say anything out loud, I wouldn’t have to admit that I…really fucked up.”

Danneel huffed out a laugh and wrapped her arms around Jensen, resting her head on his shoulder. “Jesus, Jensen, how long did you stay in denial?”

“Until about a week before break when he forced me to face it.”

Danneel pulled away just enough to look at him. “Wow. Seriously? I could have told you it was happening months ago.”

Jensen looked miserable. “You should have dumped me.”

“Not this again,” Danneel grumbled, breaking away from Jensen and heading back towards the couch.

“I’m serious. We had one rule, and I broke it.”

She dropped onto the couch and grabbed the remote, smacking Jensen with it lightly. “I know you tried. It wasn’t your fault.”

“It was, and you should hate me for it.” He kissed her neck softly and reached for the light. “Jared’s gonna hate me for it.”

Danneel pulled him down, placing his head on her lap and playing with his hair. “I’ll take care of Jared,” she said. “Don’t you worry.”



This story has become problematic. A female character has been introduced. In stories like these, there are only two types of women.

There are old women. Witches. Cannibalistic step-mother types. Nasty things who know magic and will use it wickedly for revenge, personal gain, or shits and giggles. This was not Danneel.

Or there are princesses. Sweet, innocent girls who shudder at foul language, languish in towers for years if necessary, and never, ever, ever do anything their grandmothers would not approve of. That wasn’t really Danneel, either.

We are introducing a new concept to the fairytale genre: Danneel was an ordinary girl. She liked ice cream, good literature, and had a healthy appetite for sex. She didn’t do magic, but she got shit done, and she really didn’t do languishing in towers, either.

Jared apparently did, because two days later, Danneel spotted him in the dining hall moping. If asked, Jared would insist he was not moping. But rest assured that he totally was.

So Danneel was getting lunch, and there was Jared moping. It broke Danneel’s tender heart, and since Jensen had spent the last two days just as dejected, she knew it was her job to reconcile the two.

“Hello, Jared,” she said, sliding into the seat across from him.

He looked up, visibly uncomfortable. “Uh, hi.”

“Do you mind if I have lunch with you? I’d really love to get to know you better.”

Jared was torn into several different pieces (metaphorically, not in the Grimm Brothers way).

Most of him was upset with Jensen. Jensen, who made a home wrecker out of him; Jensen, who made Jared hate himself for something that was not logically really his fault at all; Jensen, who broke his heart.

Another part of him didn’t even care anymore. He wanted to hate Danneel, despite her kind smiles and her enthusiasm. He wanted to tell her, “Sorry, sweetheart, but he’s over you, he fell for someone else, you should just let go.” And he knew that was a lie, because Jensen had been so obviously in love with someone else from the moment they met, Jared had just decided it was someone who had broken his heart because that was convenient and it left room for him in Jensen’s life. Jared was sure Jensen did love him a little bit—less than Danneel—but a little bit. He wanted to cling to that. He wanted to lie to her and keep Jensen.

But mostly, Jared wanted to kick himself for thinking that at all. Because Jensen was the bad guy, and neither Jared nor Danneel should have wanted anything to do with him. He knew there was only one right thing to do, and that was to let Danneel know Jensen had done them both wrong.

He frowned. Inhaled deeply. Let it out. “I slept with your boyfriend while you were away,” he said in a breath.

“When you put it that way, you make it sound like it was just once.” Danneel smirked. “Sounded more like you two were little energizer bunnies from the reports I got.”

Jared’s eyes widened. “He told you?”

“Yeah, Jared. You should try answering your damn phone.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Jared said, shaking his head. “He still cheated.”

“Well, yes,” Danneel admitted slowly. “And no.”

Jared lifted an eyebrow.

“Jensen and I are logical people, Jared. I was in London for an entire semester, we both have needs. He was allowed to sleep around.”

Jared blinked at her as the knowledge slowly sunk in. “But he was so guilty,” Jared said after a while. “He was acting guilty.”

“Well, we had a rule, he broke it. We weren’t supposed to sleep with anyone we had feelings for. So it started off okay and then the feelings grew. The way I see it, he didn’t mean to do that, so there’s no one to hang for it.”

“He could have stopped seeing me when he started to, I don’t know. Whatever. Actually like me.”

“He could have.” Danneel smiled. “But don’t you think it’s kind of cute that he didn’t?”

Jared tilted his head.

Danneel shrugged. “My Jensen lacks self-control. You wouldn’t expect it from him, but deep down he’s a big ol’ softie. The fact that he couldn’t get rid of you? Says more good things about you than bad things about Jensen as far as I’m concerned.”

“Look, not that I’m not enjoying the chat, but I don’t know why you’re telling me any of this. He’s hard enough to get over as is, you really don’t need to make me like him more.”

“He misses you,” she said simply. “You guys were friends, right?”

“Yeah, but I don’t think I can be friends with him. I was happy doing it earlier because I thought he was single. I thought there was a chance he would wake up one day and not just want to be my friend.”

Danneel polished off her lunch, balled up a napkin, and tossed it at Jared. “Yeah, whatever. You come over and see him tonight, or I’ll kick your scrawny ass.” She watched Jared for a few seconds as she stood, and the playfulness dropped out of her voice. “Really, Jared. At least have the decency to friend-dump the guy to his face. He thinks you hate him. It’s breaking my heart.”

Jared said nothing.



Knocking on Jensen’s door was getting annoyingly familiar to Jared. If they ever got this straightened out, he was going to insist on a key.

The door opened after what felt like ten years of solid knocking. It was Danneel, and she looked winded and gorgeous, her hair was a mess, Jared was pretty sure there was nothing on under that sweater. He blushed and averted his eyes and thought of leaving right then.

“Oh,” he said cleverly.

“Jared,” she said loudly.

Jensen’s head peeked out from the hallway, and he shyly shuffled into sight. He was only wearing boxers, and there were red marks all down his chest, but Jared didn’t really see the point of acting modest. Jared had seen him naked countless times, and Jensen had always been so confident, so hot; it made him wonder about how close he’d really been looking.

“Jared,” Jensen echoed. He didn’t say anything else, just alternated between looking at Jared and looking at the ground.

Jared did the same.

Danneel stood patiently through this idiotic pantomime for as long as she could take it, then let out a heavy sigh. “Look, Jared, we were just about to fuck, so unless you want to join us, can this wait?”

Jared turned to leave and felt a little hand yank him into the house and slam the door.

“You two are the slowest fucking people I have ever met in my entire life,” Danneel scolded. “Now can we please get me laid?”

Jared looked to Jensen, who looked just as confused as Jared felt. They silently decided to just go with it.

Once they got to the room, Danneel stripped down immediately. Jared stared, awed by her lack of shame and licked his lips. Jensen pulled off his boxers with less gusto, and crawled onto the bed.

“I was about to fuck Jensen when you interrupted,” she said.

She reached for something that had been tossed onto the bed and began to step into—

“Jesus fuck,” Jared said, because he was just a little surprised was all.

Danneel looked at him out of the corner of her eyes, a wry smile on her face as she followed Jensen onto the bed. “I wasn’t kidding about fucking him,” she said.

She wrapped her hand around the plastic dick hanging from her hips, and Jared watched Jensen’s eyes cloud over the same way they had so many times for Jared.

Jared felt kind of obsolete.

She pulled a bottle of lube out of the folds of the blankets and began to stroke her cock slowly, getting ready. Jensen had already been opened. Jared’s jeans were suddenly way too tight as he thought of how much Jensen loved fingering himself, putting on a show.

Danneel lowered herself into Jensen and paused, waiting to bottom out. Jared could tell she’d done this often, and he grudgingly admitted that it was just about the hottest thing he’d ever seen.

She trust once, made Jensen cry out sharply, and then turned to look at Jared with dark eyes. Jared had taken his pants off while watching them, but the look she gave him was impatient, and he immediately pulled his shirt over his head and let his boxers fall.

Jensen faced his direction, too, moaned out his name. Danneel leaned down as she began to fall into a rhythm, and she whispered something to Jensen. His response was mostly unintelligible, but there was a whole lot of nodding. Danneel laughed softly.

“Jared,” she said, thrusting roughly into Jensen. “Can you help me out? I can’t give Jensen all the cock he needs.” She met Jared’s eyes. “You know he can never get enough.”

And, God, it was true. Jared had never seen anyone hungry for cock the way Jensen was some nights.

Jensen started begging.

“Shut him up, Jared,” she said, laughing a little through the words. “Or he’s going to lose us our lease.”

Jared crawled into bed next to Jensen, and Jensen opened his mouth wide. Jared took his face gently between his hands and watched Danneel as Jensen’s mouth slid over him. He closed his eyes, shaking as Jensen began to suck him, and felt the bed rocking harder as Danneel sped up.

Jensen was making filthy sounds in the back of his throat; Jared only heard the muffled version, but he felt every vibration. He thrust hard without thinking about it.

“God, yeah,” Danneel said. “Fuck him. Look at him, he’s such a little slut. Needs you, Jared.”

Jared faltered, then regained his position on the bed and pushed Jensen down into his pillow. He straddled the other man, and began fucking his mouth roughly. Jensen put one hand on Jared’s ass, urging him to keep it up, and must have wrapped his other hand around his own cock, because in moments, Jensen tried to cry out.

Danneel stopped fucking him, the sound of bed springs immediately lessened and Jared came just thinking of Jensen, sticky with his own come, Danneel still splitting him open.

He fell off to the side, watched Jensen gasping for breath as Danneel pulled out of him. Jared couldn’t fight the urge to move down and kiss him gently. Jensen’s lips returned the pressure even though he was still short for air, and Jared pulled away when he noticed Danneel’s hand was moving on Jensen’s chest.

Jensen turned to kiss her, same soft smile, kiss just as sacred as the one he’d given Jared. Jared was nothing but confusion and jealousy and wanting to belong. Jensen pulled Danneel down to the mattress, stripped the strap-on off of her, and began to kiss down her body.

Jared watched her gasp when Jensen’s mouth found the inside of her thigh, and he kissed her for the first time as Jensen’s tongue teased into her. His kisses strayed, too, down her neck, to her breasts—two mouths worked her up and down until Danneel came, too.



He woke up early the next morning, which was annoying. It was a Tuesday, but Jared’s first class didn’t start until after noon, and he really, really didn’t want to leave yet. Chances were what they’d done the night before was a one-time thing, a last hurrah for Jared and Jensen.

It felt like a sign that he woke up with time to spare, though, a giant, blinking neon sign saying, “Bow out with dignity.” He urged himself out of bed and back into the pile of clothes he’d dropped the night before.

The kitchen smelled like toast and coffee as he passed it, and he had his hand on the door handle when someone snapped at him.

“Good morning to you, too, Casanova.”

Jared turned in the direction of the voice and blushed. “Uh, good morning. I was just…” He indicated the door.

“Yeah, I got that,” she said. “And no you weren’t.”

She put her hands on her hips until Jared relented, taking a seat across the counter from her. “You don’t have to worry about me,” he said. “You guys have a settled thing here. I’m a cameo. It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. You make Jensen happy. You’re not going anywhere.”

You make Jensen happy.”

“Yeah, and you’re high if you think I’m going anywhere.” She punctuated the statement by sharply biting off a piece of bacon.

“I’m not going to stick around and steal him from you.”

“I want you to stick around and steal him from me, moron.”

“I don’t get it,” Jared admitted. “You want me to share your boyfriend?”

“Jensen makes you happy, too, right?”

Jared nodded.

“Jensen being happy makes me happy.” She smiled at Jared and pickled up a spatula, lifting a pancake out of one of the pans on the stove and sliding it onto a plate. She handed it across the counter to Jared and looked him in the eye. “Maybe we can make each other happy, too.”

Jared ate a few bites slowly, thinking things over, then put his fork down. “What if I don’t fit?” he asked. “I don’t see how I can fit.”

“We’ll worry about acrobatics later, Jared.”

“That’s not what I mean—”

“Eat your pancake.” She said, pointing the spatula at his face sternly.

Jared obeyed, and Danneel began moving around, cleaning things up, making chitchat as she did so. She turned to face him one last time as she slung a messenger bag over one shoulder and headed for the door. “I have a morning class, and Jensen doesn’t like waking up alone.”

She gave Jared an unyielding look that made it clear that this was therefore his problem. Jared was still pretty lost when the door swung shut behind her, but he shrugged, washed off his plate, and headed back to the bedroom. It was news to him that Jensen didn’t like waking up alone—Jared had left so many nights, wishing he could stay.

He crawled onto the mattress behind Jensen, pressed a kiss to his neck just because he could.

Jensen began waking up, instinctively reached out for the empty spot where Danneel slept. “Fucking 9:35s,” he grumbled. “Who even signs up for a class at this hour?”

Jared laughed; Jensen turned to look at him with a sleepy expression. He moved up, kissed Jared good morning, and smiled. “I guess even I can’t have everything all the time, huh?”

“Guess not.”

Jensen’s smile widened. “Good consolation prize.”

He turned over again and fell back asleep, and Jared kept right on holding him until his cell’s alarm went off.



Jared did fit. He fit so well that by the next semester, Jared not only had that key he’d wanted, he was living in that house with his boyfriend, Jensen. And his girlfriend, Danneel. Both of whom he loved very much.

They were very happy, and, if they have not died, they are still alive.
Tags: real person fic: cw
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