Rating: NC-17 for Explicit Sexual Content, Violent Imagery, PTSD, and Language
Word Count: 27,692
Author’s Note: Title stolen from Richard Siken's poem You Are Jeff. I owe tremendous thank yous to my artist, sagetan and my beta, wutendeskind for being supportive and encouraging to me whilst I utterly failed to get anything done on time. sagetan was a joy to work with—her art sent me into hysterical fits of squee. Please, please, please, if you want a life worth living, go check out her art post. Even if the story is not for you and you're skipping—no fucking joke, there is dishwashing spooning and Impala naptiems. You need this art. And wutendeskind managed to navigate around the fact that she actually has a life and somehow got this entire monster beta'd in a day. I don't know how she does it, but I suspect white magic. I really hope anyone who reads this enjoys it—I am fairly proud of it and had a really great time working with the story. Thank you, also, to the mods of samdean_otp for running this most splendid of challenges! Sorry I utterly failed to understand the "mini" part of the bang, guys.
Summary: AU of 6x22: Sam's wall has shattered and the memories in his mind have splintered. When the Sam who remembers Hell tells him to go find Jess and be happy, Sam knows he can't stay while Dean needs him. But when the Sam from Hell says that Dean is already there looking for him, Sam leaves his memories of the pit behind to find him.
What he finds is a life he doesn't remember: a house that he shares with his brother (and has for years), a law career he thought he'd left behind at Stanford, and a relationship with Dean he never dreamed he could have. Life is almost too good to be true, at least until Sam begins to hear his brother's voice calling to him, begging him to wake up.
PART ONE ∝ PART TWO ∝ PART THREE
ART ∝ AO3 ∝ PDF